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I know that I promised that the Zombie Apocalypse Basic Skills test would be the next entry, but I have been having some format problems that have been holding the entry up. As soon as I solve the format issues, I will post the entry. Thanks for your patience! 
But what if you still don’t “get it?” What if you just don’t think your zombie kill skills are quite up to snuff? What if you are so unnerved by the sight of the living dead that you can’t think? What if, God forbid, you flunk one of The Oatmeal’s tests? Then it is time for Dr. Dale to the rescue. Dr. Dale is a zombiologist who does training seminars on How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse. That’s right personalized, small group training for those who require a little extra help in learning how to survive your very own zombie outbreak. These seminars were a huge hit at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe last year. After successfully appearing in UK venues as well as on a very successful podcast series, Dr. Dale and his team are back with series 2, The How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse Reloaded.
The How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse Reloaded seminars are currently being seen at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe through the 29th of August. Dr. Dale and his crack team of teachers have donated all of their share of the takings from the opening weekend (6th-8th Aug) to Zombie-Aid, a charity that holds zombie events to raise money for the Make-A-Wish foundation. “Our seminar will save lives,” the self professed guru, Dr Dale Seslick, tells us, nodding sagely. “I look upon this show as a divine mission to ensure that the general public receive the information they need to be able to survive a zombie outbreak no matter what their level of intelligence. In order to do this we cover a wide range of topics, including such gems as: how to build weapons and barricades from everyday items; the killing of and defence against the undead; where the safest places to hide are and how to choose which friend or family member to sacrifice when the need arises – it’s a fun and informative evening for all.” If you are considering this type of interactive training, Dr. Dale recommends that you ask yourself some of these questions relating to how prepared you are for a zombie apocalypse:
He has also written a new, soon-to-be-considered-a-seminal work called Dr Dale’s Zombie Dictionary: The A-Z Guide to Staying Alive. I am looking forward to reading it – I think my copy accidentally got diverted to the Falklands, LOL! Actually, I am still holding out hope for a Kindle version! The early reviews, like this one from The Rotting Zombie, are great! The dictionary is said to combine first rate zombie survival skills with a dry, British sense of humor. Where else are you going to find information on how to deal with a naked zombie? Considering how often that scenario happens in zombie books and films, I am surprised no one has addressed that issue before! This is certainly an area I need help in! If you are interested in further information on the seminars and podcasts (as well as Dr. Dale’s dictionary), you can visit the website at www.howtosurviveazombieapocalypse.co.uk. Or, you can contact Dr. Dale at 07910 301616, 01524 34316 or via email at show-time@hotmail.co.uk. Next up: The Zombie Apocalypse Basic Skills Test (ZABST). Please have your digital number two pencils ready! There is so much new, good zombie literature out there right now, keeping this a list to a managable length is tough. Because there are so many full length books available, I am concentrating on them, which means no comics and no anthologies on the list. My sincere apologies to The Walking Dead fans! I am also skipping books like Zombie Haiku: Good Poetry For Your…Brains I am also rejecting books that are too advanced for this introductory study guide series like Jonathan Mayberry’s Zombie CSU: The Forensics of the Living Dead Since there are such a large number of these books that are so good, I can’t, in all fairness, give them a ranking. Therefore, I am listing the authors in alphabetical order.
J. L. Bourne is actually a military officer and his books are extremely survival oriented. The first book started out self published on the web and developed a following from there. The books have their own unique take on the zombie phenomenon and really strongly focus on survival methods and weapons. That means you are more likely to read a detailed description of an MRE or field stripping a weapon than gory descriptions of pus-filled zombies. But Bourne’s books are compelling, delicious reads. And honestly, don’t you want to know whether an M-4, an MP5 or an M-16 is more effective at killing zombies? I thought so…. Day by Day Armageddon: Beyond Exile Available for the Kindle.
Max Brooks: Max brooks has become quite the zombie expert. The Zombie Survival Guide has sold over a million copies. It is not unusual to see Max Brooks’ World War Z listed at the top of any top zombie books list. And, it is being made into a movie staring Brad Pitt. Funny? Yes. Poignant? Yes. A must read? Absolutely! The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War Both are available for the Kindle. Bonus Tool: The Zombie Survival Guide Deck: Complete Protection from the Living Dead.
S.G. Brown: Civil rights for zombies? Yep! This is a very different kind of zombie story. Imagine your child died. Then, he reanimates as a zombie. And, to keep him in your home, you have to have a license. And, he has to go to therapy. And, if he’s out after curfew, he gets picked up by animal control. And, you have to pay a fine to get him back. And, did I mention that they have absolutely no rights? This is an extremely thought provoking look that makes you see things from an unusual point of view. Available for the Kindle.
David Dunwoody: Empire is a different kind of zombie novel, with its own twists and turns. The book has been hailed as “A macabre masterpiece of post-apocalyptic zombie goodness.” In an unusual move, the book is set 100 years after the zombie outbreak begins. The reasons for the outbreak have a different explanation. There are several kinds of zombies and they range from slow to fast. The appearance of the grim reaper add an interesting twist to the novels, as does an antagonist who wants to use an army of the undead to create an empire. According to the reviews, this book tends to polarizing; people wither love it or hate it.. Available for the Kindle.
Rhiannon Frater: This series started out self published. Just a few pages in, I was absolutely hooked. This book has really interesting women characters and I would love to do a feminist critique on these books! It is another one of those books that takes you from laughing hysterically to helplessly sobbing and back to laughter again. Plus, I learned so many new ways to kill zombies! As The World Dies: The First Days: A Zombie Trilogy As The World Dies: Fighting To Survive: A Zombie Trilogy (Volume 2) As The World Dies: Siege: A Zombie Trilogy Currently available for the Kindle. Note that these books will soon be published by Tor. Additional Untold Tales are available on the forum at the author’s website.
Seth Grahame-Smith: This was the first of the now many literary mashups. Grahame-Smith has admirably truly captured Jane Austen’s “voice.” The zombies are actually a nice addition to the story. This book spawned a large number of mashup adding zombies to classic works of fiction. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies There is also a prequel available by Steve Hockensmith: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls Available for the Kindle.
Brian Keene: Another very different take on the zombie story, both for the nature of the zombies and the origins of the outbreak. Zombie bunnies? Zombie goldfish? And, fast moving, thinking zombies? Definitely thought provoking. This is a series that, like David Dunwoody’s Empire, people either love it or hate it. Available for the Kindle.
David Moody: These books were originally self published. In fact, the author gave the first one away for free on his website to build a following for the book. While not your typical Romero-esque zombies, these books are interesting and I feel are an important addition to the zombie canon. The series will be reissued by St. Martin’s Griffin starting in October, 2010 Autumn Autumn: The City Autumn: Purification Autumn: The Human Condition At least the first in the series is planned in a Kindle edition. And of course, I have a To be read zombie list that includes the following: Monster Island: A Zombie Novel Plague of the Dead: The Morningstar Saga I, Zombie: Tomes of te Dead Series Brains: A Zombie Memoir The Forest of Hands and Teeth The Zombie Combat Manual: A Guide to Fighting the Living Dead Patient Zero: A Joe Ledger Novel 36 Hours by Anthony Barnhart (This does not seem to be available on the Kindle and I am not sure if it is still in print.) So, did I miss anyone’s favorites? Next up: A new seminal zombie dictionary and personal training seminars for the Zombie Apocalypse! Much of the information we need to survive a zombie attack is clearly laid out in the films of the genre. The list below are just the bare minimum of what I consider to be some of the “classics.” The First Zombie Film The first zombie film was 1932’s White Zombie with Bela Lugosi. The film featured voodoo and hordes of zombies, not trying to eat the living, but laboring for thier voodoo master. Known more for Lugosi’s performance and the great atmosphere conveyed in the film, it is now considered a classic. And, since the it is in the public domain, you can watch the entire film on YouTube. You can also download it (along with other goodies) at the Internet Archive. The Romero Films: It is 1968. George a Romero makes history with his film, Night of the Living Dead. This is the movie that started it all. Because of an error, this film was in the public domain immediately after its release. You can also view this at YouTube and download at the Internet Archive. You cannot underestimate the effect that this film had on the industry and popular culture. The debt the horror and slasher films genre owes George A. Romero is astounding, as even a brief Google search shows. Romero paved the way for a new generation of horror movies around the world. Italian filmmaker Lucio Fulci’s 1979 work, Zombie 2, was actually billed as a sequel to Romero’s Dawn of the Dead. Slasher flicks like the Friday the 13th and the Nightmare on Elm Street series probably would not even exist. Take a look at the trailer: So. The essential Romero films are: I would also include Land of the Dead (2005) For true Romero purists (and completists), Diary of the Dead (2008) There is a great blog series that covers the classic Romero films and can be used as a study guide: http://www.thedorkreport.com/2009/02/16/the-george-a-romero-zombie-cycle-part-1-night-of-the-living-dead/ The Romero Remakes: As far as the remakes go, people either love them or hate them. I am personally quite fond of Night of the Living Dead 1990. I love the portrayal of Barbara in the film and applaud her actions at the end. As far as the rest of them, I couldn’t stand them. Although the original Dawn of the Dead is hands-down my favorite Romero flick, I could barely sit through the remake. Important note: A few caveats: Just because a movie had living dead or of the dead in the title did not mean that it had anything to do with any of the series. Movies such as Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane The 28 Days Later Series: The 28 Days series updates the zombie film genre. Outbreaks are spread by virus and it is murderous rage that consumes our zombies. They also move amazingly fast. It is fairly common anymore to see comparisons between slow, Romero-style zombies and those that move fast as in 28 Days Later.
The Resident Evil Series: Okay, I know that you have to take a movie franchise that is based on a video game with a grain of salt, but when I started watching Resident Evil series, I was surprised at how good the first movie was. They really are must see movies for the zombie purist.
Return of the Living Dead A comedy zombie series makes the cut? Yes, indeed. And the reason? One word: Braaaaiiins! Chances are, if you are a zombie aficionado, you will find at least the first two of these movies delightful. (Three starts to get a little darker, and rumor has it that 4 and 5 are just bad!) A note for horror buffs: 1985’s Return of the Living Dead feature actress Linnea Quigley, known as the Queen of the Screams. Her performance is a classic.
Another movie that is considered to be a comedy zombie classic is Shaun of the Dead (2004) Some of you may notice that I left Zombieland This list is just a beginning list of what I consider some of the classics. Different people have different fims that make their ”Top” lists. On the web, you can find lists of top 20 zombie films and even a Wiki list of over 300 zombie films. And there are films like The Evil dead that have reanimated dead that some people think should belong on the lists of zombie films (I personally don’t). Next up, we are going to be looking at zombies in books. By the way… Did you know that Brad Pitt will play the journalist in a film based on Max Brooks World War Z? Study Hints for the test: There are some classic lines from some of these films that are so well-known, that they will be on the test! Lines like: “They’re coming to get you, Barbara.” “When there is no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth.” And of course, the classic, “Braaaaiiins!” Can you think of any others? Or do you have a favorite line or scene from one of these films? Tomorrow on this blog we are going to look in earnest at teaching aids for combating a zombie apocalypse. But in the meantime, I thought that some might benefit from additional information that gives perspective and background for what you will need to learn to survive. If you are unfamiliar with zombies, you might think that the idea of a zombie outbreak is pretty far-fetched. Au contraire, mon ami, the basic course of an outbreak has actually been clearly laid out. To understand the generally expected scenario, read How Everything Goes to Hell in a Zombie Apocalypse. This graphic depiction shows the usual course of events in a zombie infestation. Remember, this is a typical outbreak; your area’s specific outbreak may vary considerably. However, there is one important fact that holds true in all zombie infestations: If you are bitten, you will die and reanimate as a zombie! Your primary concern in a zombie apocalypse is to avoid being bitten! Those unfamiliar with the magnitude of zombie lore that exists are usually surprised to see just how exactly how far science has come in studying this phenomenon. Advanced statistical studies have been done on survival rates, and scientists can even accurately calculate the length of time someone will survive after being bitten. And a final warning: There is no such thing as a safe zombie, as the following video shows: Up tomorrow, Zombies in film….
Rather than a week of furthering awareness of the living dead, the Australian Zombie Awareness Week was promoting awareness of malware and virus infected computers spewing forth not blood and pus, but spam. That’s right kids. Garden variety spam. This is so disappointing! I mean, imagine thinking you were getting scary rotting walking corpses and instead getting… spam. So utterly gross! It is also disturbing. “Zombie” was one of those words that was pretty clear cut: It is either a reanimated corpse or a human being controlled by a supernatural force. Unlike words like “input,” which semantically can have one meaning in economics and a different meaning in the tech field, when someone said zombie, everyone was on pretty much the same page. Okay, so you might question whether it was Romero style slow zombies or 28 Days Later So now, you have to clarify that you are not talking about hijacked computers? Sheesh. That’s enough to take all the fun out of being undead. No, it is not marked on the calendar or anything (although there is a zombie awareness week in Australia). It is just that it has come to my attention that some of my readers are not as well versed as they should be concerning zombies. Since this is a matter of public safety that concerns all of us, I have taken it upon myself to do a bit of educational zombie posting this week to try to get those at the bottom of the class up to speed. We are going to be looking at books, film, video, news and more to help round out your knowledge of the undead. Those of you who are familiar with zombies, their spread and the various methods of eradication may consider this a review. Please pay attention and take notes: There WILL be a quiz at the end of the week! I thought it best to begin with the bare minimum of information that each of us should be aware of. Of course, we need look no further than our own government for this basic information, offered in the form of a PSA (Public Service Announcement): Any questions?  (See my previous blog entry for the background on the Criminal Minds story) In case you missed the news, CBS and Criminal Minds’ producers have decided that A.J. Cook is indeed staying fired. She gets two episodes to tie up her storyline. Paget Brewster fared somewhat better; supposedly she is in 10 out of 13 episodes. Although it is a 22 episode season, so I don’t understand the math. Gee, too bad CBS also cancelled Numb3rs! I could have used the help in figuring it out. 1 Because I just really don’t get it. CBS and the producers seem totally determined to destroy a great show. Not sure where their minds are at. I think that website twocents.com said it best:
What else do we have to look forward to? Maybe the new female character on Criminal Minds will be played by Executive Producer Bernero’s daughter. After all, nepotism has to be better than sexism, right? So where do we go from here? One person suggested boycotting CBS but not Criminal Minds. However, it doesn’t seem fair to boycott shows like NCIS without boycotting the show that is actually the problem. Will CBS really get the point that it is their actions on Criminal Minds that we are upset about if we keep watching anyway? I don’t think so. In fact, I think CBS is counting on the fact the most people will grumble and complain, but ultimately continue to watch anyway. CBS never even bothered to address the fans’ concerns; they are that sure that people will continue to tune in. But I won’t be one of them. Personally, I have had enough. And I wrote them and told them so. Over this last week, I have been practicing not watching CBS. No more NCIS, the CSI franchises, Medium, or even Entertainment Tonight. No more nightly news from the CBS affiliate. And yeah, I am taking it to extremes: No more Criminal Minds reruns on A & E or Ion. No more NCIS reruns on USA. No more CSI reruns on Spike. Even the DVDs (and I own them all) are staying on the shelf, unwatched. And, I am looking into boycotting the CBS advertisers as well. I urge everybody who cares about Criminal Minds (and getting quality programming in general) to boycott CBS as well. And you know what? I am surviving just fine, with the aid of my Roku Player. Are you getting the picture, CBS? It is a brave new world out there. I mean with that new-fangled Internet and all. People actually have choices about when and what they want to watch. And I have lots of toys to play with…. How about you? Are you a disgruntled Criminal Minds fan? Are you protesting the change? Or, have you ever had your favorite television show cancelled (or cannibalized)? How did you react?
 One of my favorite shows on television is CBS’ Criminal Minds. It is an outstanding drama with an outstanding cast that is going into its sixth year on the air. This week, it was announced that Criminal Minds’ A.J. Cook was dropped from the show. The number of episodes that castmate Paget Brewster is scheduled to appear in have been severely reduced. The initial press about this cited “financial reasons” for dropping Cook’s character of “JJ” from the poplar procedural drama. CBS has since since backpedaled and says that the changes were made for ”creative reasons.” On her Twitter account, Paget Brewster confirms the reasons are indeed financial, not creative. And the fans, myself included, are livid. Criminal Minds has an incredible ensemble cast. It is the chemistry of this group that really makes the show work. Having strong women showing that they can do a difficult and dangerous job not only offers great role models, but is more realistic in its portrayal of the “real” world.  Cutting the characters of “JJ” and Prentiss would leave Garcia (played by Kirsten Vangsness) as the lone female regular. And because Garcia’s character is technically a data analyst and not an active agent like JJ and Prentiss, it could be perceived that the remaining female character is in a more servile, less equal role compared to the men in the cast (none of whom are being cut). So, for most fans, the network’s actions in cutting just the female cast members are being seen as pretty sexist. Especially as Entertainment President Nina Tassler has been quoted as saying about the renewal of Charlie Sheen’s lucrative contract, ”I think we value our stars and our actors.” CBS has also announced plans for a spin off from Criminal Minds. The pilot, that aired as an episode of the show and included the regular cast, was viewed by many fans as lacking the chemistry of the original. Some fans are concerned that the costs saved by salaries for Cook and Brewster will go to the new, lesser quality spin off instead. If finances are a problem, CBS could definitely earn additional income by making episodes of the show available for streaming, download and purchase. Fans of the show have long complained that, unlike many of CBS’ shows, Criminal Minds episodes could not be viewed on CBS.com or sites like Hulu (and thus earning advertising revenue). Nor were episodes available for purchase. They have only recently become available for iTunes and are still not available on Amazon’s Video On Demand service. (Amazon is my preferred provider because I can purchase and watch on my large screen HD TV via my Roku Player. Just like the reaction when CBS cancelled the sci-fi drama Jericho, the fans have quickly gathered together to try to save these two beloved characters.
And if there seems to be an impassioned rush to the Save the CM Ladies Campaign, it is with good reason. Filming on the show is scheduled to begin within the next two weeks. Fans are afraid that if the show resumes production without A.J. Cook and Paget Brewster, there will be no chance of saving the characters. Any and all support is appreciated, but it needs to be done quickly. You can find more info at any of the sites listed above.
And for the record, this is now officially our new favorite dessert! And it is vegetarian, too! The recipe is also versatile. The first time I started to make this, I spotted a box of devil’s food cake mix while looking for the yellow cake. Thinking of the chocolate and the cherries, the first thing the went through my mind was Black Forest! The next time I made this, I did indeed use the devil’s food mix and the Black Forest Crumble Cake was delightful! Next time I am going to try using pumpkin cake mix with a can of apple pie filling and see if I like the results. |
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Copyright © 2010 Glinda Says: - All Rights Reserved |
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by Ryan Mecum. While I agree that there is a certain symmetry to zombies and haiku (zombies are notoriously “in” the moment), I must reject for this list books that have no real survival skill teaching value. (This book not available for the Kindle)
. Although, I have to say that that since I am a big forensics fan, zombie forensics really sound intriguing! (Unfortunately, this book is not available for the Kindle, either)
These are flashcards to use with the Zombie Survival Guide.
, but I haven’t read it yet.
(Available for the Kindle.)
(Available for the Kindle.)
(Available for the Kindle.)
Available for the Kindle.
(Available for the Kindle.)
(Available for the Kindle.)
(Available for the Kindle.)
because from a social commentary level, it really moves the series along.
& 
complete the series
fall into this category. These films are not part of the canon! Understanding which movies belong in the established body of work keep you from being duped by fakes like this one:
(1985)
and 
I have to confess, I didn’t get this flick. Not until I saw the end. And not until seeing it a few times. But I do find the end of the film hysterically funny. I so totally recognize my son and his best friend since kindergarten in the ending sequence.
off the list. While many are considering this to be a modern classic, especially with sequels in the works, I was disappointed in the film. You can 
fast ones. But you were still talking walking dead, right?
And my 
And my computer. And my netbook. And 
Much better than the iPod screen, LOL!)
Sounds like something that would be lovely for a fall day…. LOL, I have to start practicing now, right?