Okay, let’s take a moment to review here. We have looked at the zombie basics of understanding the typical scenario of a zombie outbreak and how it spreads. We have examined the essential films to see what we can learn from them. We have looked at the zombie book lists and should have a feeling for what life in the zombie apocalypse should be like.. By this point. you should have a pretty good idea of the skills needed to survive a zombie apocalypse and know what to expect.
But what if you still don’t “get it?” What if you just don’t think your zombie kill skills are quite up to snuff? What if you are so unnerved by the sight of the living dead that you can’t think? What if, God forbid, you flunk one of The Oatmeal’s tests?
Then it is time for Dr. Dale to the rescue.
Dr. Dale is a zombiologist who does training seminars on How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse. That’s right personalized, small group training for those who require a little extra help in learning how to survive your very own zombie outbreak.
These seminars were a huge hit at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe last year. After successfully appearing in UK venues as well as on a very successful podcast series, Dr. Dale and his team are back with series 2, The How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse Reloaded.
The How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse Reloaded seminars are currently being seen at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe through the 29th of August. Dr. Dale and his crack team of teachers have donated all of their share of the takings from the opening weekend (6th-8th Aug) to Zombie-Aid, a charity that holds zombie events to raise money for the Make-A-Wish foundation.
“Our seminar will save lives,” the self professed guru, Dr Dale Seslick, tells us, nodding sagely. “I look upon this show as a divine mission to ensure that the general public receive the information they need to be able to survive a zombie outbreak no matter what their level of intelligence. In order to do this we cover a wide range of topics, including such gems as: how to build weapons and barricades from everyday items; the killing of and defence against the undead; where the safest places to hide are and how to choose which friend or family member to sacrifice when the need arises – it’s a fun and informative evening for all.”
If you are considering this type of interactive training, Dr. Dale recommends that you ask yourself some of these questions relating to how prepared you are for a zombie apocalypse:
Do you know what a zombie looks like? Do you know how you become infected? Would you be aware of the safest place to go when the undead rise? Could you effectively kill a zombie with just a Florida orange lip balm and roll of cellotape? The answer to these questions may be ‘yes’. The answer to these questions may be ‘no’ or the answer could just be ‘I don’t care’ – well, you should care! Because if you don’t care then you will die! And then you will rise from the dead. And then we’ll have to kill you. And then you’ll die again…. and that is just unacceptable.
He has also written a new, soon-to-be-considered-a-seminal work called Dr Dale’s Zombie Dictionary: The A-Z Guide to Staying Alive. I am looking forward to reading it – I think my copy accidentally got diverted to the Falklands, LOL! Actually, I am still holding out hope for a Kindle version! The early reviews, like this one from The Rotting Zombie, are great!
The dictionary is said to combine first rate zombie survival skills with a dry, British sense of humor. Where else are you going to find information on how to deal with a naked zombie? Considering how often that scenario happens in zombie books and films, I am surprised no one has addressed that issue before! This is certainly an area I need help in!
If you are interested in further information on the seminars and podcasts (as well as Dr. Dale’s dictionary), you can visit the website at www.howtosurviveazombieapocalypse.co.uk.
Or, you can contact Dr. Dale at 07910 301616, 01524 34316 or via email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Next up: The Zombie Apocalypse Basic Skills Test (ZABST). Please have your digital number two pencils ready!